THE TEAM WHO'S NAME WE SHALL NOT SPEAK

I just took a tasty vacation to France & the U.K. Naturally O.T. was the main course, but I also got to taste Paris Saint-Germain's mashing of Marseille 4-2 in a thrilling French league match. Who knew the best (and only) derby in Paris is PSG/Marseille? Regardless, the Parisians showed passion and enthusiasm in their refined manner. Thuggery is left to the traveling support, which is massive and dodgy.

Now back to the main. I've been to O.T. a few times and often have to remind myself of the Golden Rule: pretend you're a local. The United townies have a bit of a grudge against the influx of Americans, Asians, and so on buying up every available match ticket and snapping pics of the pitch from the 3rd tier. Guess I can't blame them.

The fact is a United tickets are just too expensive for most Mancunians, so the few times a year they get to attend a match they don't want to be surrounded by the clueless. My advice: don't ask questions. Don't go alone. Don't look overwhelmed. Follow these simple laws and you'll enjoy a day or night out at the Theatre of Dreams. Oh, and learn the chants beforehand. They're all online.

Blah blah blah. United have kept true to form of late. Nail biters. Wins. Ties. Brilliant offense. Questionable defense. But mouth-watering football is always served fresh to the starving masses.


The same can't be said for the team from the red side of North London. Other than the Champions League, they've been roughed up by their opponents and press to the point of whispers of Arsène's sacking. Right. He'll go when he's good and ready.

Wayne Rooney aims to fire United to a first win at the Emirates on Saturday.

I'm of the same mind as the great Scott Darren Fletcher. The Gunner's are always a threat, particularly against Spurs and United. I expect a hard fought match with a double scoop of bookings in every flavor. But ultimately, United will have the Gooners for lunch.