Cave-in Cottage
Fullham 3

0 United

It wasn't pretty. In fact, last weekend's southern exposure tore the clothes off United's limping defense, leaving their sloppy midfield and ineffectual attack looking back in anger.

Exposed, exploited, and hung out to dry, it's not just the back line SAF is worried about."We lost a terribly soft goal for the first one and that gave them a platform to build on," Sir Alex lamented.

While the manager acknowledged the wounded warriors, he also felt repulsed at the way the Reds gifted a breakthrough to the home side. Paul Scholes' uncharacteristic error allowed Mr. Danny Murphy to step forward and tear down Tomasz Kuszczak. Por-fa-pa-leese.

Then there was Bobby Zamorra: A one man wrecking crew that left an indelible imprint on United that wont' soon be forgotten, at least not by me. Match highlights included a Liverpool loss, and more importantly, a Chelsea tie.

Check back after Boxing Day for a better assessment of United's championship reign...and future. Merry Christmas for now. And in the spirit of giving and taking, may Santa be especially kind to the nice (Utd.) and horribly stingy to the naughty (who are ya?).

Level Headed

United 3 0 Wolves




The Reds came roaring back yesterday, and were scarcely troubled by a visiting side featuring 10 changes to that which overcame Tottenham last weekend. The the game was done and dusted after Rooney's penalty and a powerful Vidic header at half-time. When Valencia capped a stunning move with a blistering finish on 65 minutes, it was merely a matter of reducing Chelsea's goal-difference advantage.

"We got a break with the penalty kick," admitted Sir Alex Ferguson. "I think Wolves made it difficult for us with a good team effort. They tackled everywhere, they pressed the ball, and made it hard for us to get our continuity.

Climbing Up

0 West Ham 4 United

Scholes (45), Gibson (61), Valencia (70), Rooney (72)

In true United form, the Reds moved within two points of Prem leaders Chelsea this weekend with a 4-nil drubbing of the Hammers at Upton Park. Last year the punters counted United out, prematurely crowning Liverpool champs. That was just before United moved back into pole position, decimating all comers on their way to reclaiming what was rightfully theirs.

Flashback: The sousers went south and the the good guys went north. You can always count on United for drama. Just never count them out.

Next up: United travel to Wolfsburg, needing just a point to cement first place in their Champions league group. A defeat by a 1-0 scoreline or by more than two goals will result in Sir Alex’s side finishing second and landing arguably a more difficult last 16 draw.

Feed the scousers. Let them know it's Christmas time. Well almost.

Reds Back in Black



Portsmouth 1 4 United


There was no doubt which team aimed to win at Fratton Park last Saturday. A hat trick for Rooney, a century for Giggs, and a buttoned-up defense showed who wanted it more. The pk called against United was pure fantasy. But the good guys didn't let that miscue diminish their drive. Beauty.

Meanwhile Tottenham will be travelling to Old Trafford with high hopes. Unbeaten in three games, including a 9-1 mauling of Wigan a little over a week ago, they sit comfortably (for now) in the Prem's third position. After so many years of "coulda shouda's", Spurs may finally be making a serious challenge for the top four.

Danny Wellback has been spurred on by the trust of SIR - and aims to repay the faith.

Defensive Woes



United will stick with the same back four that shut out Everton last Saturday (again) when Besiktas visit Old Trafford on Wednesday night.

Sir Alex Ferguson is down to the bare bones at the back, as those four players - Rafael, Wes Brown, Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra - were the only four defenders at training on Tuesday morning.

Brown and Vidic have had their problems this year, while Rafael has been a pleasant surprise, given his age and experience. But Evra - that's a tough one. He's been keeping United dominant on many occasions. Just hope the French World Cup win hasn't gone from one crook's hand to a solid player's head. Peu probable!

Reds get the Blues


Chelsea 1 United 0




Sure United were excellent at Stamford Bridge. They usually are. But once again they left empty handed. Or 6 six points down, depending on your glass.

Sir Alex Ferguson’s well formed game-plan went pear shaped after the Reds conceded a goal from a seriously questionable second-half free-kick, which led to Chelsea captain, and chief opportunist, John Terry’s winner.

The Reds dominated possession for large periods of the game. Darren Fletcher and Wayne Rooney both looked outstanding. But the overriding feeling, other than dread, is injustice, as the Reds slipped to third behind Chelski and the team who's name we shall not speak.


A few weeks back it was the scousers giving me angina. As it turns out they're not the biggest threat. Chelsea is. Sadly United can't seem seem to conquer either. Yet.

The Great Escape

United 3 CSKA Moscow 3

It wasn't pretty, but it was pretty tense. United managed to eek out a point at OT, playing catch up to CSKA in a sloppy, disorganized Champions League performance.

Goals in the final six minutes from Paul Scholes and Antonio Valencia - albeit via a huge deflection - saved United from a first Champions League home defeat since February 2005, after CSKA Moscow had stunned Old Trafford by roaring into a 3-1 lead.

They'll have to do better against Chelsea at the weekend. While CSKA were out of of their league, it looks like the Blues may the class of the EPL. They're certainly a side that will make you pay if you let your guard down.


Get fit in a hurry boys. Terry big boots and his band of despicable cohorts are up for it. Are you?

Na na na na na,
Ober- Obertan, Obertan...


Barnsley 0-2 United



!Vive la différence! After waiting three months for Gabriel Obertan's senior debut, the Frenchman delivered an impressive performance, switching flanks and keeping pace with United's second best.

Sir Alex must have given the big boys a hiding after their embarrassing performance at Anfield. Or perhaps the millionaires were just 'resting' while trying to find the plot. Either way The Reds inched closer to the Carling Cup title by dismantling Barnsley 2-nil in solid form. Goals were supplied by Danny Welbeck and Michael Owen, with a sending off for Gary Neville.

Next up Blackburn at home on Halloween. Hopefully United won't be tricked and show up in last week's costume. Scary.

Two to the bad



2 Liverpool 0 United

The scoucers willed a 2-nil defeat at Anfield yesterday, thoroughly outplaying United in a heated, penalty-filled match. The contest went off without beach balls and excuses. At the end of the day, there was no excuse for United's erratic defense and absentee offense. Liverpool won fair and square. That's hard to swallow.

“It was a disappointing performance and Liverpool were better,” SAF told MUTV. “We never got any luck in terms of refereeing decisions, but we have to hold our hands up: we weren’t good enough.”

A few sending offs for both sides made a messy match harder to watch. Best match of the day belonged to West Ham - tying 'the team who's name we shall not speak' in a surprising comeback. Well done Hammers.

Another London match involved the NE Patriots. Wembley was a library. Don't think the crowd knew an NFL match lasts 4-5 hours. When televised overseas, the networks edit most of the timeouts, reviews, and all the other crap that has made viewing an American Football match near impossible.

Let's make a deal England: If you want a football team, we'll gladly trade the Jets, Lions, and Bengals for United's reserves. Fair and square.

Hand in glove


United 2 1 Bolton

For some sides, life's a beach - or beach ball. For others, it's simply a day at the beach. United dominated Bolton at home yesterday, enjoying the spoils of an intimidating atmosphere, a title-winning attitude, and Edwin van der Sar back where he belongs: Blocking goals and yelling at his defense.

After cruising through the opening 60 minutes and creating enough chances to have hit double figures, Sir Alex's men ended the match clinging on to a narrow advantage and weathering a barrage of Bolton attacks.

One more thing: Sir Alex Ferguson has been charged with improper conduct by the Football Association, following his remarks about referee Alan Wiley. Even after his half-baked apology.

Stay tuned. After a midweek Champs clash with CSKA Moscow, the reds catch a wave at Anfield. Surfs up.

COME ON YOU KNIGHTED


Spurs 1 United 3



Yesterday's United victory saw Spurs drop back where they belong, and United climb back to where they should be. Always a good fixture (if you support United) this one had it all. In between scoring, bookings, and a sending off, old man river showed he still has a few tricks up his sleeve.

"I'm proud that I have scored in every Premier League season but hopefully that is not it. I don't want it to be my goal for the season. Hopefully I will score more.

"I don't score as many as I used to but I try and score some important ones. The goal against Tottenham was probably one of them." Said Giggs.

Ando got his first Premiership goal. But to be fair, he hasn't seen that much action. Now with the Diva gone, he'll play a bigger role in the Red's scoring threat. Once again Rooney was everywhere. He's really playing his best football, and baring injury, I don't see why he can't score in double digits this season.

Next up Besiktas, followed by "The Derby." Bring on Tevez. Bring on that classless turd Emmanuel Adebayor. Bring on City.

United 2

Rooney (59), Diaby (OG 64)

Gunners 1

Arshavin (40)


Lift a glass to the class of the league. Another tense north-south clash saw United swipe three points from the new kids on the block. After knocking around lesser opponents, the punters have all but crowned the Gooners league champs. Too bad Diaby didn't get the memo. Arsene was too busy kicking water bottles to read it. Meanwhile Berbatov memorized it.

This week the Bulgarain's laissez-faire pace was particularly noticeable. Outrun and outplayed by grandaddy Giggs, not to mention the ever-hustling Arshavin, Dimitar needs to reassess his role - perhaps with Newcastle or Millwall. Love to see him slow down the midfield in S. London. All that would remain is a hairnet and sneer. Seriously. Can you imagine Berbatov instigating a Keane/Vierra-esque pre-match punch up in the tunnel? Me neither.

Regardless, it was good result from a United side whose cast hasn't yet hardened. I'll wait 'til the Christmas fixtures to make my predictions. A least we already know who's naughty, and who's nice (he goes by the name of Wayne Rooney).

FRET NOT

5 United 0 Wigan


After several uncomfortable days on work detail, the usual suspects arrived to demolish the Latics in the late half of Saturday's lopsided northern faux-derby at the DW book depository and storage facility.

Rooney turned in a centurion effort, Berbatov put himself in the right place at the right time. And Owen, the new kid, looked promising. Nani's 85th minute free kick showed focus and precision. Backflips all around.

Don't order the champers just yet. The team whose name we shall not speak also put up some big numbers. Clash of the Titans 1 is fast approaching. The question is, who wants it more? Spurs anyone...

37 TO GO




1 United 0 Birmingham



Perfection starts at home. Well maybe not perfection, but three points against a newly promoted Birmingham side that showed a lot of potential, but never really delivered.

All in all the Reds attacked and defended as well as can be expected, given all the shake ups. Defensive injuries, a new non-Ronaldo strike force. And a lazy man up front. Yes, Berbatov. He should at least fain enthusiasm, but instead he falls for the off sides trap seemingly without a care. He's on one of the best teams in the world, but you'd never know it by his demeanor.


I already miss Tevez. Ronaldo, not so much. Except, of course, for the multitude of goals he supplied. But I can't wait until he has a mega diva-tandrum at Real. It will happen. And when it does the Spainards won't be too keen on it. The honeymoon will end.

The cherry on top of yesterday's victory was Liverpool's loss to Spurs. To dare is to do. The scoucsers did neither.

Adiós, Carlos.



You were good in your time, and we thank you. But now you've joined enemy ranks. Pity. And what's all this about the new and improved City? I've heard it for years, and still don't buy it.

Here's what it boils down to: the Madrid like scavenger hunt for talent at Eastlands should make the Europa race more interesting. If nothing else it will turn the Manchester derby into a watchable, hype-worthy event (at least this year, next year City could be relegated - it happens now and again).

I predict the Stretford end (and upper north - a noisy lot) won't initially give stick to Tevez. But once he's starts flapping his soup coolers and flailing his arms in a post-goal frenzy, they'll be on him like white on rice. As for Terry big boots, he's just pitting baby blue against evil blue until his trousers burst with coin. But I do see Adabyour waving au revoir to Arsenal for the much sought-after mid-table mess he'll ultimately bitch about.

All this overspending never amounts to much. Remember when Chelsea went on a cash-spending rampage five or six years ago? OK, bad example. But remember City did spend like a drunken sheik last year and played yo-yo all season. Of course this year they sit hoof-to-snout with Madrid, trying to cruise the blackjack dealer with the promise of a huge tip once they fold. What both sides fail to see in the rear view are their ever-mindful league mates. Yes, matches will be played, lost, and I predict, often tied.

A few things to remember: Mark Hughes will always be a RED.
And City will always be City.

18 League Titles


A glorious day against the Gunners

Another premiership title in the trophy case. Make that three in as many years. It's kept United and their fans savoring the moment, but still wanting more. The Reds face a hapless Hull side to finish off the Prem season. More importantly, they'll need to rest key players to be in top shape for the big one: a date with Barça next week in Rome. Only Europe is at stake.

Resting their starting 11 could actually be bad news as Hull needs a victory to stay up. Defeat will certainly find them plying their trade in the Championship next season. So United will field 11 hungry men needing to prove to Sir Alex they belong on the first team. If not this season, then next.

Rio may miss both matches if he fails his fitness test for the Hull match. Vidic is just not Vidic without Rio. And the Reds are not really United without that pair at the back.

As for Barça, all bets are off. They're hot, cold. And sometimes right in the middle. United just need to open things up quickly, then shut them down just as fast. It's just too close to call.

ARIVADERCI BLUES

United to face Barça in Champ's Final.



Bring on Barça.
FC Barcelona literally stole the UEFA Champions League semi-final victory right from under the Blue's snot-noses. And well done to you. Thanks to Andrés Iniesta's goal three minutes into added time, Barça earned a showdown with Manchester United FC in Rome on 27 May - a day that will live in infamy as I call in sick.

Chelsea showed the same class as a prep shool cheerleader squad after an inner-city cheer off loss. Hip drops. Nasty looks. Hair shimmies. And the always-popular face in camera/finger fave. Losers.

But congrats are in order to the Catalooners for breaking blue hearts everywhere. They beat Chelski at their own game. Low scoring, heavy possession, and the ever-popular added time goal, with controversy. Nice.

Of course that will all change when they face United. They will attack, with their full squad, and score goals. Just like they did all season inLala Liga. The difference being United's back line. Hopefully they won't give them the wide open spaces of let's say, Madrid. And United, sans Fletcher, will attack attack attack. At least one can hope.

Now back to the Spaniards every Spaniard hates. Yes, that nay-o-sty old FC Cuntalonia. The last Barça/Madrid debacle was pure embarrassment, and should have been called due to massive douchbagery. The turd-major himself, Thierry No-honory, was particularly dificil on mis oyos. !Cabron!

Anyway locas, we have some other silverware to defend before hoisting the next Champions League Cup. I know, I predicted Barça would win the whole thing earlier this year. And they still could. But not without a fight.

IS IT REALLY SO STRANGE?

Arsenal 1 United 3 (aggregate 1-4)

Come on Barça. Come on you Blues.

United has a date with you in Rome, 27 May to defend their Champions League trophy.

It just looked too easy. Especially if listened to all the pre-match smack Ansene was putting down prior tho Tuesday's Champions League semi. The title holders turned in a flawless away performance to completely dismantle Wenger's Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium, killing the tie through early goals from Ji-sung Park and Cristiano Ronaldo, before the Portuguese added style and flair to the scoreline with a breakaway third.

With the sweet comes sour.

Truth be told, United could have exposed the Gooners midfield for 4 or 5. Instead they scored a dismissal, thanks to the wrongful sending off of Darren Fletcher. The Scot will miss the final after being slapped in the face with a red for bringing down Cesc Fabregas inside the United area, allowing Robin van Persie to hammer home a late penalty.

There are football rules, are there not? The man goes for the ball and goes off? WTF? Regardless, United will have a strong squad ready to face all comers be they Spanish or English. They will turn the lights of the eternal city for goodness sake.

That's a bit later. This weekend they'll have to dismantle the hate City if they hope to see silver in the Prem. I don't see a problem there, you?

OH WHEN THE REDS, GO MARCHING IN...

United 5 Spurs 2


From despair to where? First. Heartbreak turned to heaven Saturday as United scored 5 unanswered goals against mid-table Spurs.

It's been 23 years since Tottenham beat The Reds at O.T., but the first half gave everyone pause to rewrite the history books.

Despite being 2-0 down at the break, one Wayne Rooney said United never lost hope and always believed one goal could lead to a hatful.

"It was a brilliant comeback. We played too slow in the first half and Tottenham caused a few problems, especially down the right.

"But even at 2-0 down we knew once we got that first goal we'd get more opportunities to score. Thankfully we took them and in the end it was quite comfortable."

A few matches left. A game in hand. A 1 point lead. Sounds great. So I won't try and rewrite history just yet.

IT'S NOT OVER 'TIL RAFA SINGS

Cesspool in smelling distance


I hate them I hate them I hate them. That felt good. But not as good as putting distance between the Wrong Reds and the Red Devils. One measly point. I knew (and wrote) the Souscers weren't done and dusted yet. Nor is Chelsea. The Blues slipped last weekend, but have the talent, and finally the leadership, to pull off a miracle. It hurts even to think about it.

So United have dropped points, lost the plot, and have had their defense lay down. Whatevs - we know they still have it all in spades. They just need to get their mojo back. And they can do so in a big way by destroying Villa come Sunday. Actually this is a perfect time to meet Villa. They're tired and suddenly clueless (kind of like...nah).

This race will be a photo finish. I just hope United keep their noses clean.

OURCASTLE
Newcastle 1 Man United 2

United re-established a seven point lead atop the Prem, but it was no twirl in the tulips at St James' Park.

Wayne Rooney and Dimitar Berbatov struck goals in either half to seal the points. But it was Peter Lovenkrands that started the scoring and set the pace. With Chelsea and Liverpool both winning on Tuesday, this was a potentially massive win in United's bid for a third successive Premier League title.

This on the heals of United's Carling Cup win over a Spurs side that pushed them to their limit. That and the upcoming FA Cup tie at Craven Cottage - and the small matter of Inter's OT invasion. No predictions here. Hope, but not promises.

I still think Chelsea are in the race. Liverpool, not so much. But at least the boiler-suits made it interesting for half a season. It's good to have the derby-ish dislike back in check between Merseyside and Lancashire. Now if the Moss Side boys would just go down and stay down...

7 UP
United 2 Blackburn 1

Saturday's victory over Rovers proved pivotal against Rovers, and no walk in the park (as always assumed). Blackburn played with scrappy abandon, and could have beaten United, save for a few offside traps and pesky wooden posts to contend with.

But they triumphed, as champions often do. . Let's not forget they are defending European champions. And now that they're 7 points clear of Cesspool, they're favored to retain their title.

GOSSIP GIRL
The special one's at it again. Not satisfied with a mere match, Mourinho's head games have blossomed in the Italian sun. Of course Inter's confidence is soaring after Saturday's 2-1 win over Bologna (not to mention last weekend's Milan victory) and their dominance at the top the cosa nostra, or Serie A, seems a done deal.

"Manchester United are not a better team than us," Mourinho said. "I have played 12 times in the last few years against Manchester United, so I know their qualities, I know their players."
Inter is a damn good side. They're no Barcelona, but who is? They're the side to beat, fear, and ultimately loath. Within a few short months is will all be done and dusted. May the best Mancunian football club win.

DERBY DELIGHT
United travel to Pride Park. Again.

The yo-yo Rams are United's next opponent in the 5th round of the FA Cup. This is a side United can easily dominate. It's also a side easily overlooked. So focus and fitness are once again top of mind. For what it's worth, the red scouscers are out of the cup competition. The blue scouscers, in.

First things first. Away at Hammers this weekend. Never as easy as it sounds. But I caught the home leg of this clash standing and screaming in the Stretford End. Delicious. I predict a 2 nil defeat by United.

Now back to the rant. How could Liverpool be so foolish as to sell Robbie Keene back to Spurs, leaving their side with one (albeit brilliant) injury-prone striker in Fernando Torres? Seems lame.


But there's so much going on behind the scenes at Anfield, we'll never know the real story. Now Keene's in the position to score against Arsenal at the weekend. That would gut two hateful teams with one strike.

Then there's Chelski. They're fading faster than Amy Winehouse's secret tar stash. What they need is, well, José Mário dos Santos Félix Mourinho: yes, the bratty, special, little, one. Baring that, they haven't a prayer.

So bring on West Ham. Bring on Derby. Bring on the treble.

DONE & DUSTED

WEST BROM 0
UNITED 5

They're back. The old United. The team that doubled and dominated last season. Even with an entire staring squad of injuries, United's biggest away win of the season came on a night when the second-string Reds set a new defensive record of eleven clean sheets.


OK, so it wasn't against a top four side, but it was a total thrashing. And we know every side gets pumped when playing the champs, particularly at home. So even a relegation-bound WBA could could have pulled it off. Nah.


Dimitar Berbatov, Carlos Tevez, Nemanja Vidic and a brace from Cristiano Ronaldo cemented a 5-0 victory at The Hawthorns. West Brom were reduced to 10 men after their skipper Paul Robinson received a questionable red, and was sent-off just before half-time.






Meanwhile, Edwin van der Sar kept his eleventh consecutive clean sheet to break Chelsea’s 2004/05 Premier League record and help the Reds move three points clear of Liverpool at the top of the table.

Now it's getting good. Now they're hitting their stride. Now watch out Liverpool.

REDS RAM DERBY

United 4 Derby 2
Reds win 4-3 on aggregate.

Last night the Reds put on a strength clinic at OT as they knocked Derby down and out of the Carling Cup. The clinic was put on by United's second squad. In other words a mid-table prem team's starting 11.

It was a night of red cards, penalty kicks, stretchers, ham strings and who knows what else. At the end, United booked their place at Wembley to face Spurs (barring a Barnsley miracle).

Other sides are slipping, if not fading away altogether. Chelsea and Liverpool are a laugh. Arsenal struggles to keep their heads above water.


AND GOD SAID "OH NO YOU DIDN'T"

What the buck. Everyone knows Kaká belongs to Jesus, not Manchester City. It was heard on high the lord said "don't let your holy cleats touch Eastlands - not even for 168 million quid." City. Tragic.


So as the top dogs sharpen their teeth before nipping at the heels of West Brom, it's comforting to know their injured soldiers get some much needed rest before marching into the dog days.

BLUES SEE RED IN MANCHESTER
3 United 0 Chelsea

The league elite rose like cream to douse the spirits of Chelsea's title hopes yesterday. Technically the Blues are still a point in front of their arch rivals, but that could all change before the weekend as Chelsea suffered their worst Old Trafford defeat in 15 years.

THE SPECIAL ONE: NOT SO SPECIAL
If scouting is the new scene stealing, Jose Mourinho's curtain call at OT backfired. Sure Inter's looking good ahead of their Champions League clash with United, but peeing just above Luiz Felipe Scolari's perch was over the top — even for Jose.

Drama and hype aside, United eased to a thoroughly-deserved success after Nemanja Vidic broke the nil-nil deadlock in first-half stoppage time.Wayne Rooney added another just after the hour before Dimitar Berbatov completed the domination.

Throughout the match, Chelsea's midfield was in disarray. Ballack was an embarrassment , and Anelka's second half entrance wasn't much better than Deco's first half choke.

Even the steady Petr Cech looked vulnerable and shaky. Altogether it was a messy display by Chelsea. They were outplayed, out coached, and outclassed. Now it's Liverpool's turn.